Like any self-respecting guy approaching middle age, I tend to look down a bit at the youth of today - i.e. kids today don't read, they have no attention span, they need instant gratification, they're in love with their annoying little gadgets, their minds are wastelands of corporate colonization...and on and on. It's the same shit people said about my generation in the 80s. Some of you may remember Alan Bloom's book, The Closing of the American Mind? The criticism had some validity then and may have even more now...
I feel especially old when I go to the Mac Store. Those Geniuses are so damn young. But I've gotta give 'em their due. They are as competent and knowledgeable as can be. The Emo guy who helped me, Chad, looked at first to be everything I've become so crotchety about. He had a metal pole stuck horizontally through his nose, another one stuck vertically in his tounge, and narly ink all over his body - I'm talking like Mike Ness ink, or Ultimate Fighting ink. And don't even get me started on the guy's hair because talking about it will make me feel like I should be wearing a damn diaper. ...But this guy - this Chad - was fuckin' great. Friendly, professional, and capable beyond anything I would expect these days from a large cost-cutting corporation, even one with a supposed heart like Apple.
...One thing I will say is that Chad has this horrible verbal tic where he affirms almost every statement made to him by saying, "very excellent."
"Hi, I'm Max S. You just called my name for Mac support."
"Very excellent. I'm Chad."
"Hi Chad. So, there's something really wrong with my Macbook."
"Very excellent. Let's see if we can fix it. Are you under Apple Care?"
"Yes. I've still got two years."
"Two years. Very excellent."
"My Mac won't turn on. I don't even get the greeting tone."
"Very excellent. Typically problems like that have to do either with memory or the logic board. Let me take it in back and see if we can do a diagnostic."
"OK. Should I just wait here?"
"Oh, one more thing. I just killed four people and ate their innards for dinner.
"Very excellent. I'll be right back."
Normally, I'd be stewing in my grouchy juices, muttering things like, "one more very excellent out of you and I'll be sticking my very excellent boot up your very excellent ass." But not this time. So impressed was I with Chad's excellence that I now believe, like Whitney, that the children are our future.
My computer is sick and in the shop, so the next few posts might be a little shorter. A few of my recent entries have been somewhat turgid anyway, so forced brevity probably isn't a bad thing...